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Ken Thom
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  • Maryville, MO
  • United States
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Ken Thom posted a blog post

Happy New Year - begin this year by listening

Listen. Just sit quietly as your with your child. Perhaps your child is throwing quite a temper tantrum. Just listen. Try to hear what is really going on. Don’t react and just be in the same space with them while they are having an emotion and see what happens. When we truly open our ears we hear much more than what is being said and we may have more insight as we listen.See More
Dec 31, 2012
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Ken Thom posted a blog post

Play

Play-in the snow, at home, a game! The number one way kids communicate is through play. Everyone feels less stressed when they are playing. Maybe it’s doing a puzzle or playing a board game. Maybe it’s setting up a video game tournament with everyone in the house…parents included! Perhaps you love playing outside…go sledding or skiing or snow boarding.See More
Dec 27, 2012
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Ken Thom posted a blog post

Merry Christmas - be in the moment

Try to be in the moment with your child and our family. Do you wake up thinking of all the things you have to get accomplished-"I have to get this laundry done, I need to clean this room, I have to vacuum, I need to clean the bathrooms"…this list goes on and on. This moment will only be here right now. Be flexible in your expectations of yourself, your loved ones, and your home. It really is more important to spend time with your children and be present with them than for them to have the…See More
Dec 24, 2012
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Ken Thom posted a blog post

Spend extra cuddle time

Spend extra cuddle or hug time together. Are you the type of person who likes hugs or shies away from hugs? Most kids loved to be hugged…even if they are teenagers! All kids need to know that they are loved and hugging is one of the best ways to do this. Hugging your loved one can send them a message of love and acceptance, of security and safety.See More
Dec 20, 2012
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Ken Thom posted a blog post

Create a special ritual

Create a special ritual that’s just something you do in your own family. Maybe you go for a walk every evening or read a special book to each other. Maybe you have a secret handshake or sing a special song. Ask your kids what they want to do. Maybe you call a new family member each day of the week. Perhaps you talk about your dreams or wishes each night before you go to sleep. Rituals give kids structure and structure helps kids feel safe. Once kids feel safe, negative behaviors decrease and…See More
Dec 17, 2012
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Ken Thom posted a blog post

Be of service

Be of service and teach your child to be a servant. Give to others. This season is about giving to others. One of the best strategies to do this is to teach children how to give to others. Color a picture, make a craft project, donate used toys, or volunteer. Many people are in need of something and sometimes knowing that others are in need helps us put perspective in our own lives.See More
Dec 13, 2012
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Ken Thom posted a blog post

Laughter is great medicine

Laughter is great medicine. I have never once had an experience where I got finished laughing and thought, "I’m so bummed I just did that. I never want to laugh again." That just seems silly, doesn’t it? So often, as parents, we are caught up in controlling things and trying to manage behavior, we forget to laugh. Rent a funny movie. Play a funny game. Tell each other funny stories. Tell a good joke. This will help you and your children laugh. Do whatever it takes for you to laugh!See More
Dec 10, 2012
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Ken Thom posted a blog post

Cook together and eat as a family

Cook together and eat as a family. Let the children have some control over the menu and making the table look festival. It’s true, food really can bring people together. Let his holiday season be a time of bringing your family together. Yes, the dinner table may be chaotic. Yes, kids will refuse to eat. Yes, you will want them to eat and may be frustrated. Focus on the togetherness and not on the eating. Focus on listening to the rhythm of your own house. Ask your child what happened in his/her…See More
Dec 6, 2012
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Ken Thom posted a blog post

Ask for help - talk with other parents

Ask for help, talk with other parents. Maybe you have some things you need to get done this season…like shopping or cleaning. Call a friend and take turns watching each other’s kids so you can both get done what you need to get completed. You will feel good getting your stuff done as well as helping your friend out. Your children will be excited to have a play date at someone else’s house.See More
Dec 3, 2012
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Ken Thom posted a blog post

Trust the Power of Relationship in Adoptions

I recently talked with a mother who was very distressed about her adult daughter. Her daughter’s drug addition had gotten worse. So had the consequences for her daughter. As we talked, it was apparent that the mother was experiencing secondary trauma as a result of her daughter’s behavior. She came to me because of my experience with addictions and because I’m a Christian counselor. As we talked, she disclosed that her support system kept telling her what to do. They kept giving her advice. She…See More
Nov 29, 2012
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Ken Thom posted a blog post

Fear & Adoption IV

I received an e-mail from a foster mother who was very distressed. I could feel her desperation and urgency. Amber and her husband John have two foster children, ages three months (Sally) and three years (Rod). Rod will soon be leaving to go back to his biological mother. Amber and John have plans to adopt the three month old, Sally. Without knowing any history of either one of the parents, think about the triggers for fear. Here’s just a few. Grief of Rod leaving. Fear of how his biological…See More
Nov 26, 2012
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Ken Thom posted a blog post

Happy Thanksgiving

Be sure to take time, be mindful, and enjoy your family this week end.  Give thanks and praise in and for all situations.See More
Nov 22, 2012
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Ken Thom posted a blog post

Fear & Adoption III

I recently spent a few days visiting my "adoptive kids" Trey and Chenoa. Trey is a "love miracle", crack cocaine baby. Trey was adopted at birth. When he came home he was greeted by Ella. Ella was a very large, cuddly dog. Trey’s mother, sister, and Ella loved him into health. Ella became a big part of Trey’s emotional safety and regulation. Ella tragically died three years later. This was devastating for the entire family. They are still grieving this loss. While I was there, Trey started…See More
Nov 19, 2012
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Ken Thom posted a blog post

Are You Worthy?

This may seem like a very odd or unusual question. If the answer is no or you doubt this about yourself, it will be a challenge along your parenting journey. November is Nation Adoption Awareness Month. My work focuses on helping families have successful adoptions. The definition of a successful adoption is probably as varied as the number of families with adopted chidlren. An essential ingredient for a successful adoption is how parents feel about themselves. In the DVD - Trauma, Brain &…See More
Nov 15, 2012
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Ken Thom posted a blog post

Challenge of Adoption - Never Give Up

November is National Adoption Awareness Month. With it comes the mention of the negative aspects of adoption. The story about the parents who returned their adopted children to Russia has re-surfaced. Unfortunately, there are failed adoptions. Most any parent whose child has challenging behaviors has reached the end of their rope. This can also happen with parents whose children may not have these challenging behaviors. Where does a parent find hope? The only true and consistent source of hope…See More
Nov 12, 2012
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Ken Thom and Mark Pelobello are now friends
Nov 11, 2012

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Tell Us About Yourself
I specialize in assisting individuals, families, and children in trauma or distress. I’m a nationally recognized Christian counselor and published author. I use Scripture and Biblical truths along with the Post Institute Stress Modelä to put love into action to heal relationships. I’m a parent and grandparent, in my free time, I support faith-based community efforts, youth and men's ministries at my church, and serve on the Board of Directors for the Academy for Christian Education.

Ken Thom's Blog

Happy New Year - begin this year by listening

Posted on December 31, 2012 at 9:00am 0 Comments

Listen. Just sit quietly as your with your child. Perhaps your child is throwing quite a temper tantrum. Just listen. Try to hear what is really going on. Don’t react and just be in the same space with them while they are having an emotion and see what happens. When we truly open our ears we hear much more than what is being said and we may have more insight as we listen.

Play

Posted on December 27, 2012 at 2:00pm 0 Comments

Play-in the snow, at home, a game! The number one way kids communicate is through play. Everyone feels less stressed when they are playing. Maybe it’s doing a puzzle or playing a board game. Maybe it’s setting up a video game tournament with everyone in the house…parents included! Perhaps you love playing outside…go sledding or skiing or snow boarding.

Merry Christmas - be in the moment

Posted on December 24, 2012 at 11:00am 0 Comments

Try to be in the moment with your child and our family. Do you wake up thinking of all the things you have to get accomplished-"I have to get this laundry done, I need to clean this room, I have to vacuum, I need to clean the bathrooms"…this list goes on and on. This moment will only be here right now. Be flexible in your expectations of yourself, your loved ones, and your home. It really is more important to spend time with your children and be present with them than for them to have the…

Continue

Spend extra cuddle time

Posted on December 20, 2012 at 2:00pm 0 Comments

Spend extra cuddle or hug time together. Are you the type of person who likes hugs or shies away from hugs? Most kids loved to be hugged…even if they are teenagers! All kids need to know that they are loved and hugging is one of the best ways to do this. Hugging your loved one can send them a message of love and acceptance, of security and safety.

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