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All Blog Posts Tagged 'Children' (97)

Happy New Year - begin this year by listening

Listen. Just sit quietly as your with your child. Perhaps your child is throwing quite a temper tantrum. Just listen. Try to hear what is really going on. Don’t react and just be in the same space with them while they are having an emotion and see what happens. When we truly open our ears we hear much more than what is being said and we may have more insight as we listen.

Added by Ken Thom on December 31, 2012 at 9:00am — No Comments

Play

Play-in the snow, at home, a game! The number one way kids communicate is through play. Everyone feels less stressed when they are playing. Maybe it’s doing a puzzle or playing a board game. Maybe it’s setting up a video game tournament with everyone in the house…parents included! Perhaps you love playing outside…go sledding or skiing or snow boarding.

Added by Ken Thom on December 27, 2012 at 2:00pm — No Comments

Merry Christmas - be in the moment

Try to be in the moment with your child and our family. Do you wake up thinking of all the things you have to get accomplished-"I have to get this laundry done, I need to clean this room, I have to vacuum, I need to clean the bathrooms"…this list goes on and on. This moment will only be here right now. Be flexible in your expectations of yourself, your loved ones, and your home. It really is more important to spend time with your children and be present with them than for them to have the…

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Added by Ken Thom on December 24, 2012 at 11:00am — No Comments

Spend extra cuddle time

Spend extra cuddle or hug time together. Are you the type of person who likes hugs or shies away from hugs? Most kids loved to be hugged…even if they are teenagers! All kids need to know that they are loved and hugging is one of the best ways to do this. Hugging your loved one can send them a message of love and acceptance, of security and safety.

Added by Ken Thom on December 20, 2012 at 2:00pm — No Comments

Create a special ritual

Create a special ritual that’s just something you do in your own family. Maybe you go for a walk every evening or read a special book to each other. Maybe you have a secret handshake or sing a special song. Ask your kids what they want to do. Maybe you call a new family member each day of the week. Perhaps you talk about your dreams or wishes each night before you go to sleep. Rituals give kids structure and structure helps kids feel safe. Once kids feel safe, negative behaviors decrease and…

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Added by Ken Thom on December 17, 2012 at 2:00pm — No Comments

Be of service

Be of service and teach your child to be a servant. Give to others. This season is about giving to others. One of the best strategies to do this is to teach children how to give to others. Color a picture, make a craft project, donate used toys, or volunteer. Many people are in need of something and sometimes knowing that others are in need helps us put perspective in our own lives.

Added by Ken Thom on December 13, 2012 at 2:00pm — No Comments

Laughter is great medicine

Laughter is great medicine. I have never once had an experience where I got finished laughing and thought, "I’m so bummed I just did that. I never want to laugh again." That just seems silly, doesn’t it? So often, as parents, we are caught up in controlling things and trying to manage behavior, we forget to laugh. Rent a funny movie. Play a funny game. Tell each other funny stories. Tell a good joke. This will help you and your children laugh. Do whatever it takes for you to laugh!

Added by Ken Thom on December 10, 2012 at 2:00pm — No Comments

Cook together and eat as a family

Cook together and eat as a family. Let the children have some control over the menu and making the table look festival. It’s true, food really can bring people together. Let his holiday season be a time of bringing your family together. Yes, the dinner table may be chaotic. Yes, kids will refuse to eat. Yes, you will want them to eat and may be frustrated. Focus on the togetherness and not on the eating. Focus on listening to the rhythm of your own house. Ask your child what happened in…

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Added by Ken Thom on December 6, 2012 at 2:00pm — No Comments

Ask for help - talk with other parents

Ask for help, talk with other parents. Maybe you have some things you need to get done this season…like shopping or cleaning. Call a friend and take turns watching each other’s kids so you can both get done what you need to get completed. You will feel good getting your stuff done as well as helping your friend out. Your children will be excited to have a play date at someone else’s house.

Added by Ken Thom on December 3, 2012 at 2:00pm — No Comments

Trust the Power of Relationship in Adoptions

I recently talked with a mother who was very distressed about her adult daughter. Her daughter’s drug addition had gotten worse. So had the consequences for her daughter. As we talked, it was apparent that the mother was experiencing secondary trauma as a result of her daughter’s behavior. She came to me because of my experience with addictions and because I’m a Christian counselor. As we talked, she disclosed that her support system kept telling her what to do. They kept giving her…

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Added by Ken Thom on November 29, 2012 at 2:00pm — No Comments

Fear & Adoption IV

I received an e-mail from a foster mother who was very distressed. I could feel her desperation and urgency. Amber and her husband John have two foster children, ages three months (Sally) and three years (Rod). Rod will soon be leaving to go back to his biological mother. Amber and John have plans to adopt the three month old, Sally. Without knowing any history of either one of the parents, think about the triggers for fear. Here’s just a few. Grief of Rod leaving. Fear of how his biological…

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Added by Ken Thom on November 26, 2012 at 2:00pm — No Comments

Happy Thanksgiving

Be sure to take time, be mindful, and enjoy your family this week end. Give thanks and praise in and for all situations.

Added by Ken Thom on November 22, 2012 at 2:00pm — No Comments

Fear & Adoption III

I recently spent a few days visiting my "adoptive kids" Trey and Chenoa. Trey is a "love miracle", crack cocaine baby. Trey was adopted at birth. When he came home he was greeted by Ella. Ella was a very large, cuddly dog. Trey’s mother, sister, and Ella loved him into health. Ella became a big part of Trey’s emotional safety and regulation. Ella tragically died three years later. This was devastating for the entire family. They are still grieving this loss. While I was there, Trey started…

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Added by Ken Thom on November 19, 2012 at 2:00pm — No Comments

Are You Worthy?

This may seem like a very odd or unusual question. If the answer is no or you doubt this about yourself, it will be a challenge along your parenting journey. November is Nation Adoption Awareness Month. My work focuses on helping families have successful adoptions. The definition of a successful adoption is probably as varied as the number of families with adopted chidlren. An essential ingredient for a successful adoption is how parents feel about themselves. In the DVD - Trauma, Brain…

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Added by Ken Thom on November 15, 2012 at 2:00pm — No Comments

Challenge of Adoption - Never Give Up

November is National Adoption Awareness Month. With it comes the mention of the negative aspects of adoption. The story about the parents who returned their adopted children to Russia has re-surfaced. Unfortunately, there are failed adoptions. Most any parent whose child has challenging behaviors has reached the end of their rope. This can also happen with parents whose children may not have these challenging behaviors. Where does a parent find hope? The only true and consistent source of…

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Added by Ken Thom on November 12, 2012 at 2:00pm — No Comments

Fear & Adoption II

This real life adoption story comes from a foster mother. I’ll call her Tina and her 3 year old foster child I’ll call Sam. Tina is new at utilizing the Post Stress Model in her foster home. Sam has been with them for approximately six months. He’s made fairly good progress and at one time Tina and her husband were considering adoption. That did not materialize because the biological mother has stepped up to the plate and there are plans for re-infatuation in the next month or so. Sam had…

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Added by Ken Thom on November 8, 2012 at 2:00pm — No Comments

Fear & Adoption I

November is Adoption Awareness Month. This provides me with an opportunity to write about real life adoption situations. I’ll call this adopted 6 year old girl Abby. Her adoptive mother, Gretta, is very much on board with the Post Stress Model. Abby is struggling in school. There are several situations in school that are overwhelming to her sensory and neurological system. Abby is very bright and does not have any external scars. She internalizes her stress reactions. This has made it…

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Added by Ken Thom on November 5, 2012 at 1:00pm — No Comments

Stress Model

All behaviors arise from a state of stress. In between the behavior and the stress is the presence of a primary emotion. It is through the expression, processing, and the understanding of that emotion that we can calm the stress and diminish the behavior. Bryan Post - Great Behavior Breakdown.

My other articles and newsletters on fear are available to you as a free resource. My book, Christian Parent…

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Added by Ken Thom on October 29, 2012 at 2:00pm — No Comments

Tolerate Crying as a Need for Empathy

Many times crying becomes intolerable to parents. This probably due to them not being allowed to cry or if raised by the Dr. Spock philosophy allowed to cry without being consoled. Crying is a communication that a child has reached a pint far outside his window of tolerance. It’s an indication of being swept away by a swift current and having nothing to hold onto. Change your paradigm from crying being weak to crying being a call for help from a very scared child.

My…

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Added by Ken Thom on October 25, 2012 at 2:00pm — No Comments

Don't Make Anger Your Focus

Anger is usually the most focused on feeling. This tells us that we are fearful in nature. We are scanning our environment for anger because it is threatening and causes threatening behaviors. If we look for anger we are going to find it. Change your paradigm to look for fear in your children. See fear and you will see love and comfort as the answer.

My other articles and newsletters on fear are…

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Added by Ken Thom on October 22, 2012 at 2:00pm — No Comments

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Christian Social Networking is among the fastest growing segments on the internet, as it allows members to enjoy their faith online through Christian blogs, prayer requests and other faith-based forums. Commonly referred to as the Christian Facebook, Christian Social Networks like PrayerGroup, also allow Members to connect through Christian Chat forums which provide a real-time exchange. PrayerGroup.org is among the fastest growing Christian Social Networks in the world. It's online Christian Community features more than 70,000 churches in the United State making it the largest free online church community in the country. PrayerGroup features include: Christian Blogs and Christian Articles, Christian Members from over 120 countries, Christian Prayer Requests(International), Christian Chat and Online Bible. Join us today and see what you're missing!

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Many Christians have found that they can grow and share their faith through daily or weekly blogs. A Christian blog is a short article that allows the writer to share his or her experiences in life with the reader. Frequently, a Christian blog can discuss topics such as the bible, bible verses or other traditional religious topics or it can be a casual discussion about Christian life including family, friends or other topics.

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How to Pray - Finding Your Voice With God

Each afternoon, you probably talk about your day with your family or friends, reviewing the highlights and perhaps discussing problems you faced that day. Daily prayer is reviewing your day with God. It is how we count our blessings for what went well or seek guidance when we need it. Prayer is an intimate conversation, where you can say anything with the understanding that forgiveness and grace can be yours.There are many types of prayer. There are words of praise for God's magnificence, prayers expressing gratitude for your blessings or simple humble requests of God when you or another is in need. Prayer is simply a conversation with God and like all relationships, the more we communicate, the closer we become with the Lord.The way you communicate with God, need not be like anyone else. Some pray through meditation (or complete silence), while others speak out loud. Prayer often takes practice before you find your "voice" with God and you begin to feel comfortable with the relationship you are building with him.

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One of the most powerful ways to share God’s word is through your own communication with friends, family, and others. Sharing the gospel by word-of-mouth has been instrumental to sharing the faith for centuries.

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All Blog Posts Tagged 'Children' (97)

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